i love both you and the german language way too much
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Montag, April 28, 2003
i just want to run really fast again, you know? like im sick of this whole 'rebuilding' bit and i just wanna get on with the getting better and scoring points and just generallly being FAST...i guess its true though, what dad has told me in the past and what i usually believe, that if youre put out because of an injury or some other reason, you come back to running all over again, completely fresh and different, and you can't worry so much about getting BACK; you just have to work on getting BETTER...well, at least there's another meet in like five minutes, so ill have a chance to try to improve my time pretty soon. i was thinking of asking to double in the mile and the two mile, and then i realized that no one in her right mind ever asks to do that...if its the only way im gonna get to run the mile i still might do it, but i dunno if trumbulls distance is weak enough (i think its pretty weak) and we would have few enough people running the 32 (annie says they have a really good 800 runner, so maybe shed run the mile and sidneyd want it stacked) that i might actually end up mattering (that would be fun if stressful, and would certainly put me in a position to run really hard (and who knows, maybe get the prestigious 'running star award' ;-) )) unlikely though...anyhoo, i dont know why im writing this here precisely, as no one whos ever read this is really into running, but whatevs its my journal anyway. sometimes i think it would be better to end this in english, bc then no one would know if i meant ich liebe DICH or ich liebe EUCH, you know? but then again i guess its nice to make everyone feel like i mean him or her in particular (him? what? boys? no...there are no boys here...) (oh, and BY THE WAY, dr k pissed me off to no end today by being all 'stop ending sentences with prepositions' to the class and im just 'ill end my sentece with a prepostion if i WANT TO , BITCH, so BACK OFF!!!) and that he/she is especially, specifically loved...what the hell, ich liebe dich...yes, dich...no, nicht IHN, nicht SIE, DICH! ich liebe DICH!
9:12 PM
Samstag, April 26, 2003
i feel like crying. dunno why, precisely...
11:46 PM
Dienstag, April 22, 2003
*sigh* feeling so happy just from sitting her playing weezer and tmg at vary levels of loudness and softness and (finally) doing my calc homework...especially nice after feeling like crying all day except when heathers cheered me up in our free and while running... anyway no time to write here...too busy being productive and reveling in life and music... love y'all
.
9:51 PM
Montag, April 21, 2003
you know what it is that really bothers me about school right now? its how, like, it defines your priorities for you artificially. like how calculus has to be important all year...i just wish i could have a month where knitting was important, you know? guide my own life/learning experiences by what interests me at the moment...and then after may eighth, maybe sometime ill be wanting to learn calculus, and therell be no one to help me with it. its just annoying, trying to live by what someone else defines as important for me to know or whatever. i hate the escuela sometimes, really really i do. maybe i should go to hampshire, eh? major in knitting? well, maybe not that, lol, but... yeah whatever.
11:34 AM
Sonntag, April 20, 2003
i was feelin really weird util aobut five minutes ago. now all i feel is motivated...driven...productive, even. aint track season grand?
9:08 PM
Donnerstag, April 10, 2003
i have a sunburn on my face. my mother told me i must never have children with colin quinlan. ewwww. caroline doesnt do colin quinlan and neither do i. i hate how my face feels all hot bc of my sunburn. maybe i should go whine about it or something?
10:03 PM
Dienstag, April 08, 2003
i dont know what's going on with me...its like, i dont have to do my homework; id rather focus on whates REALLY important...like knitting, and my skirt, and making cookies. im also eating really oddly, which is often a good indicator of how messed up i am at the moment, but the weird thing is, its not my normal, obsessive jelly consumption brand of screwed up eating as a way of dealing with my problems. im not thinking about food until i get hingry, then i go and get a snack and start to prepare a real meal, but inevitably stop cuz my hunger goes away and i stop caring...the thing is, i normally dont stop caring when i stop being hungry. not that anyone who reads this really wants to hear about my disordered eating but whatever youre on my blog now and IT doesnt even have a comments feature so there you go. anyway, maybe im actually eating like a person for like, the first time ever. wouldnt that be someting? maybe its my newfound type b personality manifesting itself, and it just turns out that i can only be emotionally balanced when im not worrying much about much of anything. not that im not worrying at all...i pay some attention to some assignments, and then theres the deep feeling of dread of the calc and to a lesser extent the physics, but mainly it just doesnt bother me that theres all this stuff that should be worrying me...im a little worried about THAT, tho, bc however heart-healthy my not caring may be, ive always relied on my ability to care about every little assignment to lead me to success. i think its connected to all this thinking about cty and summer plans. im just refusing to live in school, and am acting as would make sense at cty...who knows. im done thinking into this thing; its too weird for me for right now. back to sewing a skate lace to my skirt!
10:02 PM
Sonntag, April 06, 2003
ps im still living in squalor and darkness...i hope theres a snow day tomorrow-sammy sags gives it an eighty percent chance, county-wide
11:43 PM
my but its been a while since i posted here, hasn't it? hmmmm. they might be giants was SEHR fun...i wanna go again. i kind of miss aim, but i miss having friends more...sad thing is im only half kidding about that...what the fuck is happening to my life? i miss you girls, if you ever read this...really I do. next weekend im going to make a point to reserve everyone i havent seen in forever way ahead of time...unless of course they all hat each other but whatever Ill deal and besides im only doing wat usually pisses me off when other people do it...very few people hate each other, i htink. anyhoo...i know no ones reading this as its been over a month of silence and im not on aim, but still if you ever do, ich libe euch, i love you all, and and i miss you.
11:36 PM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
